Wednesday, December 01, 2004

A Parody

Hi! To all you folks out there in the wide world: This is a parody (if you don't know what a parody is, check it up in your dictionary in the 'P' section and call your nearest shrink for an I.Q. test).

Dear Old Teach (I've forgotten your name so forgive me if this form of address is in any way offensive)
It's been donkey years since we've last met and boy, am I glad! The less I see of you the better. Anyway, I'm writing this letter in the hope that you shall read it and grow so angry that you start foaming at the mouth and fall to the floor in a fit the way all teachers in cartoons are apt to do. I'd call it ample compensation for all the evil things you did to little kids.

All right, I'll start from the beginning, first of all, I want to interrogate you.

Question 1) Are you married yet? (I hope you haven't, because that'll make you a spinster and as for myself, I'll be ten dollars richer if I haven't lost the phone number of the girl I made a bet with all those years ago)

Question 2) Do you still run a kindergarten? (I didn't make a bet on this, the question's just out of pure curiousity)

Question 3) Do you still have that mug I gave you on Teacher's day?


Question 4) Did you drink out of that mug? (if you did, you shouldn't be reading this, you'd be six feet under in a little box because I just found out the other day that the glaze I used was actually nail varnish that degenerates over time and dissolves into water and all the other beverages you like to drink)

Question 5) Are you mad at me? Because I didn't do it on purpose, honest.

Question 6) Could you write back to me? (my e-mail's just over at the right side of the screen)

That mug thing's causing me alot of grief, my mum's worried because you might be dead and that it's my fault (it would make me guilty of homicide) so please write back and tell her you're alive, I beg you.

Your Sincerely (in the hope that you're alive and won't press charges),
Fairy Penguin
(your fearing-that-you-are-dead student)


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